Child support question?

my daughters mom wants me to just buy the kid things. i want to pay it through the court. she stopped the support order from being established. so why is it the woman is the only one who can get the courts to make a support order. why can i not get one so i can legally pay and be credited for my payments. or how could i do it. i live in tennessee and when i went to the courthouse they said they didnt have papers for that and to go to the child support office. so i went there and they told me to contact legal aid. legal aid said they dont do child support. so how can i find help.